4/23/2017

MY LIFE

Spent the weekend with my friends The Gays. Between my parents and work, I've been very stressed out lately, so it was nice to relax and recharge my batteries. See how normal people live for a change.
Highlights included:

  • Meeting Jerry Springer at a fundraiser. He was really nice. Put up with us local yokels.
  • Visiting President Grant's childhood home. They had free admission on Saturday.
  • Lounging on the couch binge-watching Rupaul's Drag Race and Hoarders while petting my friends two dogs.
  • Having my friends' nine year old boy tell his junkie biological mother, who he hadn't seen in over a year, that he'd rather stay home because I was visiting. 
Of course the moment I got home it was back to the crazy.
  • The house was ninety degrees because my mom cranked up the heat.
  • The toilet broke down again.
  • My dad said he hadn't taken his blood pressure medicine all weekend because he was out. Turned out that he didn't notice the new bottle.
  • My brother-in-law called ranting and raving that my sister was crying because she thought my dad hung up on my nephew. Once again I reminded them that dad was senile and hangs up on everybody because he barely knows how to work the phone. Her mother-in-law is a nasty cunt who smacks kids in the face. Not a peep. But they constantly blow up over imagined slights from me, my mom or dad.

1 comment:

  1. Ever see Strangers on A Train? I can knock off one of your in-laws if you do one of mine.

    ReplyDelete