- Jennifer Lawrence. Was seen smoking crack in Montreal.
- Macaulay Culkin. The good news is he's given up heroin. The bad news is he's now on crack.
- Maisie Williams. The young "Game of Thrones" actress is often high as a kite.
- Rose McGowan. Is a raging alcoholic.
- Jeremy Renner. Set up a holding company so his mutual investments with his boyfriend won't show up.
- Taye Diggs. Is bisexual and has been sleeping his way through the guys and girls on his "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" show.
- B. J. Novak. Acts like an arrogant prick.
- Jane Krakowski. Pay close attention to her teeth. They're actually dentures.
- Lena Dunham. Is a huge bitch. She recently threw a drink at an assistant in front of everyone because it wasn't the one she wanted.
- David Duchovny. One reason he's coming back to the X-Files is because he had to pay a lot of money to keep a 16-year-old girl he slept with quiet.
- Joan Crawford. Liked having guys pee on her.
- Julia Roberts. Looking at getting a divorce and relaunching her career.
- Lil Wayne. Keeps having seizures when he has sex.