8/29/2016

ALICE: WILD UND UNERSATTLICH

LINK: Alice: Wild Und Unersattlich

DESCRIPTION: 1981 Swiss porn movie about fun during a ski vacation.

NOTES:

  • I liked the orgy at the end.
  • Other interesting scenes include snow sex, ice sex, strip fondue and a black maid getting fucked.
  • Surprised the couple at the end didn't do anything. Figured there would be a romantic ending.

GERMAN DINNER ORGY

LINK: German Dinner Orgy

DESCRIPTION: Scene from a 1980s German straight porn movie featuring an orgy at a fancy dinner.

HEIRATSWILLIGES DOESCHEN GESUCHT

LINK: Heiratswilliges Doeschen Gesucht

DESCRIPTION: 1970s Danish straight porn loop from Color Climax

NOTES: I liked the group sex at the end

DANISH HARDCORE 108

LINK: Danish Hardcore 108

DESCRIPTION: Danish straight porn movie featuring the classic Color Climax loops Big Dick Addict, Big Black Bone, Bedroom Inspiration, Super Tit Fuck, Big Tit Star and Double Delight.

NOTES:

  • John Holmes stars in Big Dick Addict. 
  • My favorite was Big Tit Star. Three couples having fun.
  • I also liked the interracial action in Big Black Bone.

JAPANESE LIBRARY FUCKING

LINK: Japanese Library Fucking

DESCRIPTION: Four-hour Japanese straight porn movie featuring schoolgirls getting fucked in a library.

8/28/2016

MOVIE REVIEW

TITLE: Dead 7

DESCRIPTION: 2016 post-apocalyptic zombie western from Asylum (Sharknado) that stars a bunch of washed-up musicians and D-list celebrities.

DIRECTED BY: Danny Roew. He's mostly known for making music videos.

WRITTEN BY: Story by Nick Carter (Backstreet Boys). Screenplay by newcomer Sawyer Perry.

STARRING: 

  • Nick Carter, Howie Dorough and A. J. McLean from Backstreet Boys
  • Jeff Timmons from 98 Degrees
  • Joey Fatone and Chris Kirkpatrick from NSYNC
  • Jacob Underwood, Trevor Penick, Erik-Michael Estrada and Dan Miller from O-Town
  • Dellous Kennedy from All-4-One
  • Art Alexakis from Everclear
  • Tommy McCarthy from No Authority
  • Cuban-American singer Jon Secada
  • Debra Wilson (MADtv)
  • Carrie Keagan (VH1)
  • Frenchie Davis (American Idol)
  • Latino singer Gerardo Mejia
  • Former gay porn star Dylan Vox
MY TAKE: Cheesy good fun. Darker than I thought it would be. A lot of surprise deaths.

WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY: Drop the clownish comic book villains Apocalypta and Johnny Vermillion and just focus on a zombie horde approaching the town.

NOTES:
  • Filmed in Montana.
  • Was originally titled Dead West.
  • Apparently it's set in the same universe as Sharknado and Z Nation.

STARVING

LINK: Starving

DESCRIPTION: 2014 Spanish-language gay porn movie with English subtitles about the sexual adventures of a young man in Argentina.

NOTES: One of my all-time favorite gay porn movies. Non-stop sex for almost three hours. But also beautifully shot. Comes across like a mainstream movie.

CRAZY COLLEGE ORGY

LINK: Crazy College Orgy

DESCRIPTION: Scene from College Rules.

NOTES: I liked the ending when the girls were riding them.

8/27/2016

LINK: Jordi fucks his tutor and his stepmom.

DESCRIPTION: Scene from Brazzers.

FAMILY VACATION

LINK: Family Vacation

DESCRIPTION: Scene from Family Strokes. Brother and sister fuck in hotel room next to their mom.

MEG'S BOYFRIEND

LINK: Meg's Boyfriend

DESCRIPTION: Steve Smith from "American Dad" fucks Meg and then her mom Lois from "Family Guy"

MILF & COOKIES

LINK: MILF & Cookies

DESCRIPTION: Cartoon porn video. Steve Smith from "American Dad" fucks Lois Schultz from "Family Guy"

POLITICS

A battle between good and evil.
Seventy to eighty percent of Trump and Hillary supporters think the other side is evil. This is why the system is broken. Every election is cast as a battle between good and evil. There's no room for compromise.

MOVIE REVIEW

TITLE: Careful What You Wish For

DESCRIPTION: 2016 erotic thriller about a young innocent guy having an affair with his boss's hot wife.

DIRECTED BY: Elizabeth Allen Rosenbaum. (Ramona and Beezus, Aquamarine)

WRITTEN BY: Chris Frisina. This was his first movie. He mostly serves as a tv producer.

STARRING: Nick Jonas, Isabel Lucas, Dermot Mulrony, Paul Sorvino, Kandyse McClure

MY TAKE: Meh. Not enough sex. Not enough thrills. Seen better on Cinemax.

HOW I WOULD HAVE DONE IT: Make it all about the T&A. Show Dermot Mulrony having nasty rough sex with her. Show the sex scene of Nick Jonas losing his virginity. Show a compilation of them having steamy sex everywhere (shower, hot tub, boat, couch). When Dermot Mulrony almost catches them, have them keep fucking while he's literally a few feet away. Instead of the hokey ending where we find out she's having an affair with the insurance investigator lady, make the big reveal that she was actually fucking his best friend Graham Rogers too. Show a montage of them fucking everywhere, including one where Dermot Mulrony and Nick Jonas are working next to them oblivious. Then have Nick Jonas kill him in a showdown and let her escape for a sequel where she seduces another boy bander (Justin Bieber, Shawn Mendes, Charlie Puth, Austin Mahone). Camp it up. Show lots of skin. Spare me this serious bullshit.

FUCK ISLAM

Life inside a legal brothel in Bangladesh.
Islamic fundamentalists love to preach about morality but they're all for child sex prostitutes.

8/26/2016

SUCKING HIS DICK WHILE HE PLAYS GAME

LINK: Girl suck's boyfriend's dick while he plays computer game.

NOTES: She was a champ.

HUNG GUY FUCKS GIRL IN WALMART BATHROOM

LINK: Hung guy fucks girl in Walmart bathroom.

NOTES: I loved his big dick.

BOOK REVIEW

Dinosaurs vs. AliensDinosaurs vs. Aliens by Grant Morrison
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I was very disappointed with it. You've got two great talents (comic book writer Grant Morrison, director Barry Sonnenfeld). You've got a fun idea. And yet the story's incredibly mediocre. It seemed like they tried to overthink it.

Let's put the dinosaurs in tribal colors and create a clash of civilizations similar to Europeans vs Native Americans!

Then pretend this is a great sweeping epic by dragging the story out so nothing happens and you'll have to get the next book to continue.

And then hug ourselves for being visionaries!

Yeah. This one's a stinker.


View all my reviews

FUCK THE WAR ON DRUGS

Heroin is bankrupting my county.
They're spending so much on jailing people that it's wiping out the budget. They just announced that there won't be raises this year for county employees. Common sense says the solution is to rethink putting people in jail, but instead they're doubling down. It's just stupid.

8/25/2016

NEW MAN OF THE HOUSE


LINK: New Man of the House

DESCRIPTION: Scene from Red MILF Productions featuring a woman having an affair with her elderly husband's son.

TEACHING MY BOY

LINK: Teaching My Boy

DESCRIPTION: Straight porn movie from Red MILF Productions about a woman having an affair with her son.

FAMILY FANTASIES

LINK: Family Fantasies

DESCRIPTION: Straight porn movie from Red MILF Productions.

NOTES:

  • I liked the scenes with the son.
  • It's part of the growing Ignored Sex fetish. The idea started in Japan and features people fucking while everyone around them acts like nothing is going on.

MODERN FAMILY ORGY

LINK: Modern Family Orgy

DESCRIPTION: Mom has orgy with two sons and two daughters.

FAMILY GAME NIGHT

LINK: Mom and dad watch son and daughter fuck

TRIPLETS TABOO GAME NIGHT

LINK: Triplets Taboo Game Night

DESCRIPTION: Guy tricks his two sisters into letting him fuck them by playing a board game.

NORWEGIAN ACTOR TROND NILSSEN NAKED

LINK: 26-year-old Norwegian actor Trond Nilssen running naked.

BRITISH SCHOOLGIRLS LEARN HOW TO JERK

LINK: British teacher shows two schoolgirls how to jerk guy off.

DESCRIPTION: Scene from CFNM Wave.

BRITISH STRIPPER FUCKS GIRL

LINK: British stripper fucks girl in front of her friends.

DESCRIPTION: Scene from CFNM Wave.

CFNM BRITISH LECTURE HANDJOB

LINK: British guy gets handjob while giving lecture in classroom.

DESCRIPTION: Scene from CFNM Wave.

ASIAN GUYS CAUGHT FUCKING IN STALL

LINK: Asian guys caught fucking in a restroom stall.

NOTES: They were pretty. The queen spying on them was scary looking.

FULANAX

LINK: Fulanax

DESCRIPTION: Spanish-language straight porn tube site.

NOTES: Nicely done. No annoying pop-ups. Videos are done through Pornhub so they play well. Top premium content from Latin America, Europe and America.

CHRIS DIAMOND AND JORDI FUCK CAROLINA

LINK: Chris Diamond and Jordi fuck Carolina

DESCRIPTION: Scene from Rocco Siffredi

JOSE ADICTION FUCKS PENELOPE

LINK: Jose Adiction fucks Penelope

DESCRIPTION: Scene from Red Devil X

MIKI AND NAYRA

LINK: Latino couple Miki and Nayra fuck

DESCRIPTION: Scene from X Deluxe

NATALIA FUCKED BY TWO BLACK BRAZILIANS

LINK: Natalia fucked by two black Brazilians.

DESCRIPTION: Scene from X Deluxe

TV REVIEW

TITLE: 11.22.63

DESCRIPTION: Eight part Hulu mini-series based on the Stephen King novel about a teacher who goes back in the past to stop JFK's assassination.

MY TAKE: It's not as good as the book. James Franco is very bland. And they downplayed some of the darker horror aspects but overall it's still worth watching. I forgot how poignant the ending was.

NOTES:

  • Director Jonathan Demme originally tried to adapt it but bailed after arguing with Stephen King. J.J. Abrams's company ended up taking over.
  • I have a hardon for 24-year-old British actor George Mackay. You can see why here.
  • Tonya Pinkins is an actress to watch out for. I loved her as Miss Mimi and she's great as Victor Hugo's sidekick Miss Peabody on "Gotham."

BOOK REVIEW

Victorian Undead: Sherlock Holmes Vs ZombiesVictorian Undead: Sherlock Holmes Vs Zombies by Ian Edginton
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Not bad. Actually a pretty decent Sherlock Holmes adventure.


View all my reviews

BLACK LIPS GUITARIST COLE ALEXANDER COCK

LINK: Black Lips guitarist Cole Alexander literally rocks out with his cock out.

8/24/2016

TWO LATINO GUYS FUCK MODEL GIRL

LINK: Two Latino guys fuck model girl

DESCRIPTION: Scene from Fulanax.

LAURA MONTENEGRO REVENGE SEX TAPE

LINK: Laura Montenegro makes revenge sex tape of her fucking two guys.

DESCRIPTION: Scene from Latina Chicks.

BACK TO CLASS 2

LINK: Back to Class 2

DESCRIPTION: 1988 straight porn movie that compiles scenes from the movies Kinky Business, Body Games and Funky Brewster.

NOTES:

  • Starring Tom Byron, Randy Paul, Jerry Butler, Jon Martin and Herschel Savage.
  • Randy Paul also did gay porn.

KINKY BUSINESS

LINK: Kinky Business

DESCRIPTION: 1984 straight porn movie that serves as a loose spoof of Risky Business.

NOTES:

  • Starring Tom Byron and Jerry Butler.
  • Nicely done. Almost all of the scenes were great.
  • A scene between Tom Byron and Traci Lords was edited out after it was learned she was underage at the time.
  • The scene between Tom Byron and Ginger Lynn won an AVN award.

CHEERLEADER ACADEMY

LINK: Cheerleader Academy

DESCRIPTION: 1986 straight porn movie starring Tom Byron, Peter North, Tony Montana and Scott Irish.

NOTES: I liked it when nerdy Tom Byron fucked cheerleader Jennifer Noxt. And then when he came back again at the end to fuck her and Erica Boyer.

FUCK HEALTHCARE

Drug company quadruples the price of life-saving EpiPen.
It's actually gotten cheaper to produce. But they get away with the price hike because the CEO is the daughter of a Senate Democrat and have given millions of dollars in bribes to both parties.

BOOK REVIEW

The Warded Man (Demon Cycle, #1)The Warded Man by Peter V. Brett
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A coworker highly recommended it to me. I was surprised at how much I liked it. I liked the premise of humans surviving in a world where demons literally rule the night. Can't wait to check out the rest of the series.


View all my reviews

8/22/2016

GUY STOPS TIME TO FUCK HOOKER LONGER

LINK: Guy stops time so he can fuck hooker longer.

DESCRIPTION: Scene from Time Stop Shop.

GIRLFRIEND RAPED IN FRONT OF HIM

LINK: Guy forces girl to fuck in front of her tied-up boyfriend.

SLEEPING REZA FUCKED

LINK: Sleeping Reza fucked

JAVFOR.ME

LINK: Javfor.me

DESCRIPTION: Japanese straight porn site featuring full-length movies.

NOTES: Great selection. Movies can be streamed or downloaded. My only nitpick is that it's not fully compatible with MyVidster. Probably because the videos are broken up into segments and have alternate servers.

BLACK HOMELESS MAN RAPES ITALIAN WOMAN

LINK: Black homeless man forces Italian woman to fuck

DESCRIPTION: Scene from Mario Salieri.

8/21/2016

MR STIFF

LINK: Mr. Stiff

DESCRIPTION: Search engine for straight, gay and tranny porn tube sites.

NOTES: Lousy layout with annoying popups but the search feature itself aint bad.

FAPXL

LINK: FapXL

DESCRIPTION: Tube site featuring straight, gay and tranny porn videos.

NOTES: Mostly generic stuff. But does have a few surprises.

JAPANESE GIRL GETS 21 BLACK CREAMPIES

LINK: Japanese flight attendant Mai Hanano gets 21 black creampies.

DESCRIPTION: Japanese straight porn movie.

NOTES: It's interesting in that it's a Japanese movie but it features English-speaking African-American guys. Their dicks are also pixelated.

TV REVIEW

My take on the Fear the Walking Dead episode "Grotesque"

Kinda slow for a mid-season premiere. Surprised they didn't start the mid-season premiere with something a little more fast-paced and action-packed.

I liked the Mexican setting. The desert. The villages.

I think they should've done a better job at showing how much time passed. Nick walked SIXTY miles across Mexico and faced starvation/dehydration but you don't really get a full sense of that. It seemed like a three day experience.

The real winner of the zombie apocalypse are cats. Every time dogs show up, they stupidly throw themselves at zombies and get eaten.

I thought he was crazy for walking in the middle of the damn zombie pack. Wouldn't it be smarter to hang back a little? It's not like they're paying attention.

Yeah Baja California is sparsely populated, But wouldn't the area be crawling with zombies because of people trying to flee north and south? That's always been a major problem with the Walking Dead universe. There should be way more people and zombies.


MUSINGS

Burger King's Whopperito.
I was disappointed with it. I don't know why they skimp out on sauce. They could have a whole line of whopperitos if they loaded them with different sauces. Otherwise better off going to Taco Bell.

GIRL BLOWS GUY ON FERRIS WHEEL

LINK: Girl blows guy on Ferris wheel.

PORN REVIEW

LINK: Shoosh Time

DESCRIPTION: Straight porn tube site featuring funny porn scenes.

MY TAKE: Mostly generic, but sometimes has a surprise winner for you.

MOVIE REVIEW

TITLE: The Bronze

DESCRIPTION: 2016 comedy about a washed-up Olympic gymnast asked to coach a girl.

DIRECTED BY: Bryan Buckley. Best known for making Super Bowl commercials and receiving an Oscar nomination for his short film Asad, this was his first full-length movie. His next movie stars Al Pacino and Evan Peters and is based on a book about the pirates of Somalia.

WRITTEN BY: Star Melissa Rauch and her husband Winston.

STARRING: Melissa Rauch, Gary Cole, Sebastian Stan

MY TAKE: I liked it. Melissa Rauch's bitter, trashy, raunchy schtick was hilarious. Worth it alone for the crazy sex scene with Sebastian Stan. I'm surprised she hasn't gotten more attention.

TRIVIA:

  • It was a hit at Cannes.
  • Olympic gymnasts Dominique Dawes and Dominique Moceanu have cameos playing themselves.
  • It was not only set in the Cleveland suburb of Amherst, Ohio but filmed entirely there as well.
  • While Melissa Rauch relied on a body double for her crazy sex scene, Sebastian Stan did it all himself. That's his butt we're seeing.
  • The Olympics are so shitty about copyrights that the movie could only hint about it.

CELEBRITY GOSSIP

I haven't done one of these posts in forever. Thinking about doing them three times a month. These are possible answers to blind items.  You can see the full list here.

Drugs/Alcohol

Gay/Closetcase


  • Michael Phelps. Sponsors don't care that the Olympic swimmer is a pot-smoking sex addict. It's his love for tranny sex that makes them nervous.
  • Kristen Stewart. Now that she's an out lesbian, she's been blasting her fake relationship with Robert Pattinson.
  • Shemar Moore. The "Criminal Minds" star might finally be coming out soon.
  • Tom Hiddleston. There are rumors that he's gay and his relationship with Taylor Swift is a mutual publicity contract. It's not the first time she's done that with guys.
  • Jaden Smith. His parents, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith, freak out every time he talks about his sexuality.
  • Skylar Astin and Anna Camp. The "Pitch Perfect" co-stars are getting married even though they're both gay.
  • Gregg Sulkin. Might be the next young hunk to come out.
  • Tye Sheridan. X-Men director used his friend Ally Sheedy to talk the young actor who played Cyclops into sleeping with him.

Gossip
  • Delta Burke. We don't see her much anymore because she's had terrible plastic surgery. You can see a picture of her weird moon face here.
  • Katherine Heigl and Laverne Cox. Can't stand each other on their new CBS show "Doubt." Hegil is already acting like a prima donna and has called in sick once.
  • Viola Davis and Jared Leto. She wasn't joking when she said she almost shot him while making "Suicide Squad." He wasn't "method acting" for the Joker.  He's completely psychotic and batshit crazy in person.

Sex/Relationships
  • Robert Pattinson. Has been cheating on his girlfriend with Mia Wasikowska.
  • Lady Gaga and Taylor Kinney. He's begging her to take him back.
  • Ariel Winter. It's only a matter of time before a nude selfie of the Modern Family actress leaks.
  • Sharon Stone. Might create a diplomatic scandal when it's revealed that she's been sleeping with a married ambassador to the United States.
  • Mary-Kate Olsen. Her husband, Oliver Sarkozy, half-brother to former French President Nicolas Sarkazy, is really creepy and into little girls.
  • Brian Austin Green. Has been cheating on Megan Fox while she's at home taking care of their new baby.
  • Jennifer Garner. Has been sleeping with her trainer.
  • Rod Stewart. His wife has been cheating with a member of his band.
  • Whiz Khalifa and Snoop Dogg. While on tour together, they have a running bet to see how many girls they can fuck each night.
  • George Clooney. There's a reason why he spends most of his time in Europe. He's into  young girls and the age of consent is a low as 13-14 in many countries.
  • Mel Gibson. Once beat a girlfriend up because he saw her talk to a man who wasn't white.
  • Fred Armisen. The comedian is a major creeper into young women and cheating.
  • Zayn Malik. The former One Direction band member once did drugs with Selena Gomez and fucked her.
  • Elton John. He and his husband keep the male escorts in the French Riviera quite busy.
  • Vladimir Putin. The Russian President has not only been banging Rupert Murdoch's ex-wife but Bradley Cooper's fake model girlfriend as well.
  • Tom Hanks. Recently dumped the mistress he's been seeing for two years.
  • Ryan Lochte. We might see a sex tape soon of him fucking a hooker in Brazil.

DOMINATING BI BOTTOM KYLE

LINK: XTube user Va_Surfer fucks bi bottom Kyle.

HUNGJARHEAD9X6

LINK: HungJarHead9X6

DESCRIPTION: Over a dozen videos of a 40-year-old tattooed marine dom top fucking bottoms.

MAVERICKMAN22

LINK: MaverickMan22

DESCRIPTION: Over eighty XTube preview videos from Maverick Men.

NOTES: I loved the baby-faced bottoms but could've done without the two bear tops.